dear teachers:

Dear teachers,
       My son, Ben is challenged with an autism spectrum disorder. That can mean many things, hence the word, "Spectrum".  He is what is considered high functioning, which is relative also...he can speak, understand speech, read, move effectively, and is a whiz at visual puzzles. However his social functioning level is probably five years delayed, and he gets excited about bugs, animals, and new Legos. He is sensitive about himself; doesn't like to talk/write about himself, has a hard time expressing many emotions. Ben has more fun with kids younger than he. Don't think you can give more than one direct command at a time and he will remember all of it, unless you make it visual. In fact, he responds to picture directions more readily than verbal commands. And, for ever more! don't tell him something to tell his parents unless you also write it down or make sure he writes it.
    Ben is very good at logics, finding hidden objects in a complicated picture; he could work jigsaw puzzles when he was two. He would lay out peices that were not connected by visualizing the whole picture before he worked it. He is musical to a fault. Let his sisters try to sing withhim, andhe stops singing....they are not in tune with him. He can remember the pitch of a song and demand that you only sing it in the original key.
        He knows kids make fun of him, even if you don't see or hear it happening. They know how to push his buttons....if they say, "cheese"....they know that drives him crazy, and don't ask me why. he has above average hearing when he is focusing on the source. It all depends on how motivated he is to hear something, whether he hears it or is distracted to some peripheral noise.
        He needs more time to process what he hears...lectures, questions, etc. Copying notes from the board is laborous, and taking notes straight from an oral presentation is nearly impossible, especiallyif  he is asked to only note what is important.  He's afraid he may be wrong...and that carries over to every thing.  Many choices will just frustrate him. Especially if you tell him there is no wrong answer. Because he just doesn't beleive you.  That's why creative writing is a nightmare also.  He thinks of too many things and wants to know which one is right.
    You need to understand that the way Ben is now is waaaaayyy better than he was.  He didn't call me Mommy till he was 3. We had to teach him words, one at a time...first nouns, for months, then verbs.  He threw tantrums because he couldn't communicate.  Screaming!  so if he growls at you, that's mild in comparison.  He seems so nearly typical, it's hard to remember that his brain is wired differently.
      His sensory issues have diminished over the years also..we had to vacuum when he was asleep. he went to his room when his sisters practiced instruments, and had to be forwarned of a firedrill or he freaked out.  he still doesn't like vacuum sound but he can tolerate it if he is warned. The sudden loud sounds still make him jump a mile.  He squints occasionally, but I'm not sure why; whether it's a reaction to light  or what.  Now that he is to have glasses for school, some writing issues may clear up. he has one eye with nearsightedness and the other has astygmatism.
         His sense of touch is off kilter. sometimes he is extremely sensitive, other times he can be badly injured and not even notice unless he sees blood.  He has had severe ear infections without our knowledge, but a paper cut can ruin his whole day.  Part of that is the obsessive/compulsive part of his disorder. He takes medication that is given to people with OCD. He also takes Ritalin.
        I have never taught in any school but preschool, so I don't pretend to know how hard it is to teach so many children at one time who have varying levels of understanding and differing learning styles. I can't even imagine.  You have my respect. Please just keep these things in the back of your mind and please don't treat my child like he is trying to make your life miserable on purpose.  He has very little thought for you, good or bad; he is too self absorbed.  He cares sincerely about very few people.  But that doesn't make him any less deserving of a good education.
Thank you,
a hopeful mother